We’re closing in on three years since we were approved to adopt. In the next fortnight we should begin introductions with Little Chick. We might finally be there.
And I’m scared.
Actually, I’m suddenly terrified.
What if I’m not good enough?
What if he doesn’t like us (me)?
What if I cry when I meet him?
What if I don’t stop crying?
What if I can’t sleep?
What if I upset him?
What if I don’t like him?
What if I don’t feel anything?
But these are all about me and introductions will be about so many more people. Most importantly, Little Chick himself.
I think my fears are rooted in letting down Little Chick, in failing him.
But I am also excited. And I’m not used to being excited during the adoption process.
I’m excited to meet Little Chick;
I’m excited to play with him;
I’m excited to read to him;
I’m excited to watch Hey Duggee with him (rather than on my own);
I’m excited to introduce him to friends and family;
I’m excited to sing him to sleep;
I’m excited to walk with him and the dogs;
I’m excited to love him as my son.